Two Friends

I know it's been a while since we lost Tom and Mark. But I feel that I need to put on my blog something about these two men before I use my blog any further. It is definitely the right thing to do, as tribute to two men who are gone too soon. I will say first, before I talk about these two fine and very different men, how much I hate cancer. Good people were taken from us far too soon by this insidious killer. We can do more to find better treatments and even cures for so many cancers, yet we spend money on things, shameful things that serve no benefit to our society. And though I hate the thought of a despot killing his people with chemical weapons, and though ignoring the use of chemical weapons could encourage their use in the future, I am torn about spending more of our money on such an action as has been suggested by the president and endorsed by the Senate panel today. Do I think that this action will be any more than a dent in the ongoing troubles in the Middle East? I think I can honestly say that despite the thousands of people already dead in Syria and the likelihood of more deaths to come, all of the money that we spend on these actions ... on Iraq, Afghanistan ... that money is better spent finding a cure for what killed Tom LaFerla and Mark Melamed. I met Mark throuh my sister Dana. They were theater people, and Mark always seemed to be on, even when he wasn't on stage. It was his natural way of being, it was something expected. It was something that you learned to love about Mark if you wanted to spend time with him, and we always loved spending time with him. If Mark wasn't being Mark, that's when you knew something was wrong. But Mark was almost always up. He was fun, even when he was frustrating. He was a core member of our game playing group. Man did we have fun. We could play games all night long. There were many nights I remember finishing up around three in the morning, having gathered, usually at my house or at Mark's, around 7-ish the night before. The amount of fun we had was probably illegal in some countries. We didn't see much of each other these last few years. My move to New York, and then New Mexico, did what distance often does to relationships. He and I didn't always see eye to eye on the dog thing. But we were like-minded on many topics, on the most important things. His brave stand against his cancers was Mark as we will all likely remember him, on stage, his co-star ... cancer ... making him dig deep for this final role. He played it well. Tom LaFerla became a friend through my work. Mikasa was a special customer for me. I made many friends there. Tom and Dolores were two people who it was so easy to be friends with, so easy to love. Such a gorgeous relationship, such fun people. For me, when I make friends with someone really special, they almost always become friends with my sisters, and that was how it felt with Tom and Dolores. We spent time at each others' homes, in the company of each others' friends and family. We spent time at Grounds For Sculpture and the Shelburne Museum and had many great meals and conversations together. When I moved to the Adirondacks, Tom and Dolores made several trips up to enjoy the area, and to nurture our friendship. I don't know how Dolores goes on, except that she is strong and she is great. Tom was the sweetest, funniest, most compassionate man. I loved him. I would love a Tom LaFerla of my very own. Dolores was lucky to have him. I was so lucky to know him.